Knowing how to attract men can be summed up in three areas, which we will cover in this article. The easiest way to attract men is to get rid of your “needy vibe” that comes across as desperation.
Unfortunately men can pick up on the signs, but the good news is there are many things you can do about it which means that before you know it, you will have attractive men throwing themselves at you just by applying some simple tips.
How to attract men without the rejection part ...
Learning how to be attractive to men doesn't always involve rejection, women seem to believe that men will somehow reject them if they speak to them or attempt to ignite some attraction. But that couldn't be further from the truth, men are more shocked that anything else – so use this to your advantage and start chatting to the guys you like, who knows you could find love in the strangest places.
Being desperate doesn't attract men
Desperation stems from feeling out of control in a situation, and is comes from the panic you feel when you put too much importance on finding a man.
The trick to attracting men is to make sure you value all the other areas of your life (for example your job, your family, your friends, your hobbies, etc) just as highly as you value having a man in your life.
Keeping an equal weighting on every area makes you a more interesting person and a better conversationalist.
It will make you feel more confident about yourself and more laid back in social situations which is attractive to any man!
When women feel desperate they do this ...
Many women who come across to men as being desperate have a tendency to approach a man or walk into a relationship thinking 6 months ahead.
Unfortunately men can sense this expectation a mile away and it terrifies them! What men want isn’t the same as women, so you need to understand their needs from an emotional standpoint.
When thinking about how to attract men, don’t forget that they do not want to feel like your happiness lies in their hands or that you are living your life through them.
Take pro-active steps towards your own projects on a daily basis which will help you not to panic about the future and keep the feeling of being in control.
Signs of desperation that really don't attract men ...
We’ve interviewed many men on what women do that makes them look desperate when they are out and why that is such a turn off.
You may already be aware of a number of these, but it doesn’t hurt to be reminded of them! Firstly, when you’re out with your friends do not laugh excessively at every joke men make, dance too sexily or get too drunk!
You don’t want to look like you are trying too hard to impress!
When you are talking to a man stay calm and don’t feel the need to talk too much.
There is no need to iron out the awkward silences, as there is nothing wrong with conversational pauses so let the lulls occur and give him time to think.
Also, take care not get caught talking about your past relationships (this is where staying sober can help)!
The quickest solution to finding a man really is to focus on handling the other areas of your life and having a lifestyle that you really enjoy. When you do this, you’ put yourself in control of your own happiness and will effortlessly attract great men into your life.
So there you have it, understanding how to attract men in any situation really comes down to not being so needy, so watch out for that.
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Discover the ways to attract men
Have you ever wondered why ‘other women’ seem to have all the luck attracting men? You probably assume it’s because they’re better-looking, have a great personality or are just plain lucky! Well, if you start analyzing what makes these women more successful with the fellas, they all have particular traits in common.
So, what can you do to move into this elite club of man-magnets? Do you want to learn how to attract men? It’s actually pretty simple (as are men when you think about it). If you consider the following tips and advice I’m pretty confident you’ll see a marked improvement in how men perceive you.
And for your information, I’ve been a Relationship Counsellor for over ten years so hopefully I know what I’m talking about.
STEP ONE – HOW TO ATTRACT MEN – BE A MATE
Men love their mates and are ridiculously loyal to them. In fact, many a relationship has come a cropper because a mate has taken priority over a partner. Rather than trying to fight against this, why not adopt the same policy and become his mate? Men tend to pigeon hole relationships with mates, work and relationships all being neatly put in their respective boxes. As a consequence, the three elements of his life can easily be apportioned time and everyone’s happy….right? Unfortunately men don’t tend to get the balance right with work and mates getting the priority and relationships coming in a poor third.
You’re probably wondering why a man would rather spend time at work or with his mates than in your company? It’s simple really; in both of these ‘boxes’ he can be himself. Whether it’s conscious or not, men do behave differently around us girls so there is always an element of them holding back. As simplistic litmus test is the rather crudely ‘fart fear’. I haven’t come across many men that don’t feel uncomfortable breaking wind in front of their mates, or worryingly, in the workplace yet a large percentage aren’t comfortable doing it in front of their partner (until you’ve lived together for 6-months that is). Whilst a rather blunt example, it does demonstrate that most men wear a different persona when they’re with us as opposed to when they’re living the rest of their lives.
I don’t think it can be good for anyone to feel suppressed in who they are and I certainly wouldn’t want to be in a relationship where my fella only showed me 80% of his true self, would you? So to over come this issue, isn’t it better to embrace the attitude that you want to be mates with your man as well as their partner? I’m not suggesting you suddenly become a beer-swilling laddette, subtlety is the key here. If you can establish which elements of his life he places in his ‘mates box’ and encompass a few then suddenly he’ll see you in a whole new light. Don’t become obsessive about knowing everything he share with his mates (he’ll think you’re a nutter), rather just take a genuine interest in some of the activities he only shares with his mates. I have a friend who started drinking real ale (for the record, it’s gross) and suddenly her man would shun his mates to take her to beer festivals all over the country. For some reason she actually enjoyed drinking flat lager and their relationship changed dramatically as a result.
Take some time to consider what attracts your (potential) partner to their mates and try to find something you could also find interesting. Don’t do anything just to appear interested, you’ll get sussed out pretty quickly, do something that you’re genuinely interested in and he’ll start seeing you in a whole new light.
STEP TWO – HOW TO ATTRACT MEN – BE POSITIVE
For men, there is no more unattractive trait in a woman than moaning, or indeed negativity. The old adage about ‘a cup half empty’ in unfortunately very applicable for a lot of women and it really is a turn-off for men. Whilst you may be keen to bag yourself Mr Right, doing yourself down is no way to achieve it. I’ve heard women tell men of their woes with previous relationships and their terrible luck with a host of rogues, bounders and b*stards. Trust me, men don’t want to hear this. Equally, the terrible habit some women have of fishing for compliments or reassurance by saying “I’m unattractive” or “I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong with men” will have them running for the hills.
If you think about this for a moment, would you want a relationship with somebody who appears to have little or no self-esteem? Probably not. If you can’t say something positive then it’s sometimes best not to say anything because those little moans and whines will quickly start getting under his skin. I once had Client who would spend thirty minutes on arriving home from work moaning to her poor husband about “that bitch in accounts” or that “her boss doesn’t appreciate her”. Imagine how soul-destroying it must be to have to listen to that day after day. I think I’d rather go straight to the pub after work than go home and listen to that.
So how do you still get things off your chest without coming across as a moaning cow? By far the best method is to inject a little humour into any gripe you have. You can still have a moan about something but if you do it with a smile on your face it won’t come across as whingeing. Also, try to balance things out by saying something positive more often than you say something negative. The Client I refer to above changed her ways by telling her husband little anecdotes that had a slightly sarcastic slant so rather than appearing a moan, it became something her husband wanted to hear. She also made sure she never finished a conversation with a negative; the last thing she said was always positive, as was her relationship from that point.
STEP THREE – HOW TO ATTRACT MEN – FUNNY IS SEXY
Ask a man if they’d rather date an average-looking girl who made him laugh or a stunner who was devoid of humour and Miss Average will almost always be the preferred choice. If you can make a man laugh (genuinely, not a polite chuckle) then you have one of the most powerful keys to snaring Mr Right.
Another reason why men spend so much time with their mates is that they make them laugh. Women on the whole take themselves a little too seriously at times so if a guy is feeling a bit low, where do you think he’s going to go to cheer himself up? I’m not suggesting you need to go and takes lessons as a stand-up comedian, just try to look for the humour in situations rather than offering a monotone dialogue.
Whilst I don’t personally find sarcasm a particularly attractive trait, a lot of men seem to love it and moan cloaked as a sharp, witty comment will make them smile rather than wince.
STEP FOUR – HOW TO ATTRACT MEN – SUBTLE SEDUCTION
I think we all know somebody who tries to make up for their insecurity by coming across as a, well, bit of a slapper. Making constant innuendoes and dressing like a whore really won’t help attract any man even vaguely interested in a relationship. There is a rather dated saying as follows,
“My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom.”
Whilst this may have the feminists amongst you punching your screen at this moment, there is still a modicum of sense in this saying, primarily the latter part of it. Men do love a whore in the bedroom (not literally obviously) but that’s where they want to keep her, in the bedroom. There is nothing more awful than seeing a woman trying to seduce a man dressed like a tart and basically offering him sex on a plate. No man worth having wants that, I promise you!
To put this into perspective, ask a man what he finds sexy in a woman and many will struggle to tell you. The reason is that they don’t actually know; that’s the beauty of genuine sexiness, it’s subtle and stealthy. By just giving a man the slightest glimmer of that ‘bedroom whore’ whilst retaining an air of innocence and mystique is an absolute winner with men.
STEP FIVE – ABOVE ALL, BE YOURSELF
Whilst all of the above tips will add to your man-hunting armoury, they should only be used to compliment the real you. Please don’t try pretending to be someone you’re not because you’ll only succeed in entering a relationship under false pretences.
Sometimes trying too hard is worse than not trying at all and no man is interested in a desperate woman. If you have to put up a facade to attract somebody then you need to ask yourself, “do I really want this man?”. We all put on an act from time to time because we need to impress, a job interview for example. However, you wouldn’t go into a job interview and tell outrageous lies to make yourself into somebody you’re not so why do it to attract a man?
It may sound obvious but put yourself in the shoes of that man you want to attract. How do you come across in his eyes? Would you want to date somebody like you if you were him? Perhaps a few subtle changes in your attitude could make all the difference but if you have to totally re-invent yourself then move on, it’s not worth it. If you want to know more about how to attract men, please have a browse thorugh some of the other advice in my website.
Most importantly of all, be happy with yourself and anything advice you take from this article, take with the attitude that it’s no more than guidance, not a get-wed-quick solution.
